Volume 42 Number 95
                 Produced: Wed Jun  9  6:29:29 US/Eastern 2004


Subjects Discussed In This Issue: 

Illegal Torah website
         [David Charlap]
Jewish Film Fellowship for College Students ( based in los angeles )
         [<FSmiles@...>]
Kosher Vegemite
         [Shayna Kravetz]
Marrying Someone with your Mother's Name
         [Sam Saal]
Mikva when Husband is not Home
         [Tzvi Stein]
Shiddach Dating Rules (3)
         [Michael Feldstein, Gershon Dubin, Perets Mett]
Toiveling Before Shabbos Begins
         [Anonymous]


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From: David Charlap <shamino@...>
Date: Fri, 04 Jun 2004 09:54:30 -0400
Subject: Re: Illegal Torah website

Seth Kadish wrote:
> A few weeks ago I posted a link to a Russian language website
> (chassidus.ru) that had electronic texts of hundreds of sifrei kodesh,
> including a punctuated siddur, which I had learned about from a
> Russian-speaking friend of mine.
> 
> The site gave absolutely no information about where the texts came from
> nor how they might be used.  I felt that something was fishy about this,
> so instead of just using the texts I sent a letter asking for permission
> to use some of them.  A while later I got a reply from the DBS
> corporation that the texts were stolen from them and used without their
> permission.
> 
> It seems obvious to me that this is a clear issue of mitzvah ha-ba'ah
> ba-aveirah, and that texts taken from that site when it was still active
> should not be used.  The texts are available legally at
> http://www.dbs123.com/.

It's not necessarily as clear as this.

A similar site, selling music from Russia, has been the subject of much
similar controversy.

Russia does not have copyright laws like other countries.  In most
countries, the publisher of a book (or recording) has the absolute right
to decide when and where it will be published.

As I understand it, in Russia, there is no such right.  An author/
performer has a right to be compensated for any publication of his work,
but the publisher has no rights.  If this web site is paying royalties
to the author(s) or to a Russian clearinghouse agency that compensates
authors for publications, then it is probably perfectly legal under
Russian law, despite the objections of the publishers.  And works
published before 1973 have no protection whatsoever, because Russia
never signed the part of the Berne convention that would make prior
copyrights binding in Russia.

As for whether it is legal for you, in another country, to download from
the site, that's a matter of local law.  But in most countries, I think
it is legal, as long as the site itself is legal under Russian law.
This is why you can go to Europe and buy a book/recording that is only
licensed for Eurpoean distribution and bring it back to the US.

As for whether it is permissible under halacha, that's a much more
interesting question.  Last I looked, halacha really doesn't really deal
much with the concept of intellectual property.  I know that you can't
use someone else's work without attribution, but I don't think there is
any concept of copyright or the right of a publisher to exclusive
distribution.

But regardless of the legal/moral/halachic questions, if the texts in
question are available directly from the publisher, then it is obviously
better to download from them and avoid even the appearance of
impropriety.

-- David

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From: <FSmiles@...>
Subject: Jewish Film Fellowship for College Students ( based in los angeles ) 

The Jewish Impact Films Fellowship is open to Jewish-American college
students, film students and recent graduates.

for more details see website at http://www.jewishimpactfilms.com
App. deadline is soon by June 15.

IF you are a creative person who wants to make the world a better place,
work with top industry professionals, and grow spiritually, then the
directors of Jewish Impact Films invite you to apply to be a Fellow at
our Premiere Summer Program. This will be a summer you will always
remember.

Candidates do not need any particular software experience, though the
computer should not be an intimidating, mysterious box that makes the
candidates cry.

Candidates do not need to bring any technical equipment. However, a DV
video camera is suggested. Fellows will be equipped with everything they
need to produce their movies.

Candidates should come to Jewish Impact Films with ideas they would like
to see disseminated, as well as a willingness to discuss and learn about
other new ideas.

Candidates should enjoy working in teams and be ready to think
creatively in a supportive and safe environment.

IF you are a creative person who wants to make the world a better place,
work with top industry professionals, and grow spiritually, then the
directors of Jewish Impact Films invite you to apply to be a Fellow at
our Premiere Summer Program. This will be a summer you will always
remember.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Shayna Kravetz <skravetz@...>
Date: Fri, 4 Jun 2004 12:00:00 -0500
Subject: Re: Kosher Vegemite

After I posted the information that I garnered after receiving a gift of
Vegemite from an Australian non-Jewish friend, Isaac Balbin
<isaac@...> posted:
>
>Unfortunately, the following was just issued by Kosher Australia:
>
>"Due to changes in Kraft Food's manufacturing plant and processes, Kraft
>is no longer able to accommodate the necessary kosher regimes required
>for kosher Vegemite as a result of other non-kosher products also made
>on this same equipment. Consumers should lodge any concerns regarding
>this decision directly with: Kraft Foods Ltd ... "
>
>For those of you who love Vegemite, send them a letter ESPECIALLY if you
>are overseas. If you've never had Australian Vegemite, you haven't
>experienced Me-in Olam Haboh (a taste of the world to come) perhaps get
>on their web site at http://www.kraft.com.au/ and then click on Contact
>Us and send them an email asking them to bring back Kosher Vegemite!

Thank you so much for your advice, Isaac.  My jar being vintage 2002, my
supplies are safe for the moment.  And mercifully, Vegemite appears to
remain essentially unchanged by time, so staling isn't a problem.  But
it is a wonderful ingredient in anything savoury and I know even my
little jar -- used a teaspoon at a time -- will eventually run out
(absent Hannukah-type intervention!).  So I have already written the
address supplied by Dani Wassner <dani@...> (thanks, Dani)
-- mailto:<CServices@...> -- and urge those of you who have
tasted Vegemite to do likewise.

Kol tuv from
Shayna in Toronto

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Sam Saal <ssaal@...>
Date: Fri, 4 Jun 2004 09:00:30 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: re: Marrying Someone with your Mother's Name

Joseph Kaplan <penkap@...> wrote:

>I just heard a shiur on this topic on Shavu'ot. Its source is the
>tzava'ah (ethical will) of Rav Yehudah Hachasid.  It also includes a
>woman not marrying a man with her father's name.  I mention this because
>R.  Moshe Feinstein says we need not follow this minhag. [...]

I can understand the problem. My not-yet-religious father-in-law has the
same English (and Yiddish) name as did his father-in-law (my wife's
maternal grandfather). Both were called to the Torah by their Yiddish
names. While the grandfather is no longer alive, B"H, my father-in-law
is.  We wanted to name our son after my wife's maternal grandfather, but
were concerned about her quite vivacious father. If Ashkenazim name
after a deceased relative and Sephardim after a living relative (my
understanding of the custom) and both consider the other's custom as
touching on morbid, we'd be morbid in either camp.

Fortunately, my wife and mother-in-law found a wonderful compromise.
Neither man use[ds] the Hebrew translation of his name. We did. Thus, we
honor the grandfather with only an indirect reference to her father.

Sam Saal
<ssaal@...>

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Tzvi Stein <Tzvi.Stein@...>
Subject: Re: Mikva when Husband is not Home

>First: We can point out the famous Rashi on Gn32:14-16 that different
>people have different marital visitation obligations.  Thus sailors have
>an obligation only once every six months.  Clearly sailors cannot be
>there when their wives come home from Mikvah

That is not clear to me at all.  A woman should *not* go to the mikva if
her husband is not going to be there.  She should wait until the first
night he will be back.  So this sailor's wife would go to the mikvah
only when her husband is home (every six months or whatever).  And the
all tha halachos that apply the mikva (counting days, etc.) also only
apply prior to when she is actually planning to go to the mikva that
month.

It's actually a quite apt halacha for wives of U.S. soldiers, nowadays.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: <MIKE38CT@...> (Michael Feldstein)
Date: Thu, 3 Jun 2004 07:26:33 EDT
Subject: Shiddach Dating Rules

>    Boy must wear suit & hat -- regardless of planned event.
>    ALL communication is between shadchun & boy or girl --
>    Although boy meets girl's parents (when he picks her up)  boy's
>         parents don't meet girl until ??
>    Two sets of parents are not to communicate with each other until ??
>    Must go on second date unless first date is real disaster.
>    Third date means ??
>
>Anyhow -- does anyone have a compendium of these "rules" -- I'm sure
>they vary by community, but they nonetheless would be of interest.

You only have to remember one rule: if some of these arbitrary shidduch
requirements for parents and those dating seem stupid or silly to you,
ignore them.  Simply use common sense.

I also think it's a very sad state of affairs in the Orthodox community
when a poster has to post this message anonymously. (I'm speculating now,
of course, but my guess is that if the poster revealed his name, and
people knew he was questioning the "rules," he or she would negatively
affect their kids chances for a shidduch.)

What a shame!

Michael Feldstein
Stamford, CT

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From: <gershon.dubin@...> (Gershon Dubin)
Date: Fri, 4 Jun 2004 09:21:01 -0400
Subject: Shiddach Dating Rules

I'll give my perspective on this, but YMMV:

<<Boy must wear suit & hat -- regardless of planned event.>>
Correct.

<<ALL communication is between shadchun & boy or girl ->>
This is the way it's done now;  this was a surprise to me when my oldest
started  "in the parsha" but yes, that's the usual.

<<Although boy meets girl's parents (when he picks her up) boy's parents
don't meet girl until ??>>
The usual is that they don't meet until engagement looks promising.  But
we didn't go this way, and met each set of mechutanim (plus a couple
that didn't work out) after 2-3 dates.  It was well received by all
concerned and it's not as rare as some people would like you to believe.

<<Two sets of parents are not to communicate with each other until ??>>
See above.

<<Must go on second date unless first date is real disaster>>
The first date really only determines whether there is gross (in)
compatibility.  It's really not fair to rule anyone out based on that
brief meeting.

<<Third date means ??>>
Absolutely nothing whatsoever.  Don't let anyone try to convince you or
your son otherwise.

Feel free to follow up with me offlist if you like.

Gershon
<gershon.dubin@...>

----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Perets Mett <p.mett@...>
Date: Sun, 6 Jun 2004 08:17:57 +0100
Subject: Re: Shiddach Dating Rules

Anonymous wrote:

Some of these 'rules' are the exact opposite of what many of us are 
familiar with.

>     ALL communication is between shadchun & boy or girl --

In the first instance (wherever appropriate) parents should most
definitely be involved! Prior to our children getting married all
communication was between the shadkhen and the parents. In our community
this is normal practice. I don't think I would take too kindly to a
shadkhen(te) going over our heads to our childre. (But then our children
would come straight to us if that happened, anyway)

>     Although boy meets girl's parents (when he picks her up)  boy's
>     parents don't meet girl until ??

Sounds crazy to me. In some circles protocol requires the mother of the
boy to meet the girl before the boy meets her. And the girl's parents
should have the right to meet the boy **before** deciding whether to let
him meet their daughter.

>     Two sets of parents are not to communicate with each other until ??

On the contrary, the two sets of parents are well advised to meet before
their children do, and certainly before a second meeting between the boy
and girl.

> Anyhow -- does anyone have a compendium of these "rules" -- I'm sure
> they vary by community, but they nonetheless would be of interest.

In our community there are public shiurim on this topic from time to
time.  Maybe such shiurim should be held the community of 'anonymous'
too.

Perets Mett
London

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From: Anonymous
Date: Fri, 4 Jun 2004 08:50:04
Subject: RE: Toiveling Before Shabbos Begins

It is very dangerous to take a psak halacha one received for a specific
situation and publicize it on a forum like this.  Sha'as hadchak can be
wildly misinterpreted on a forum with so many people with vastly
different degrees of halacha knowledge.  For example, sha'as hadchak was
once described to me as "if the mikvah in your town is broken and it is
a Friday night before a 2 day yom tov, and one would like to conceive,
so delaying mikvah immersion would have meant delaying it for THREE
nights".  I would be very shocked if there would be a majority of poskim
that would consider one having excepted a dinner invitation on mikvah
night a sha'as hadchak.  I would also add that when I was faced with
this situation I was told not only not to be together with my husband
but that he should not know where I was until after nightfall.

I say this to insure that individuals will ALWAYS ask their LOR about
early immersion and not rely on chatter on this forum for their piskei
halacha.

Anonymous (Due to the personal nature of the subject and the private
psak)

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End of Volume 42 Issue 95