Volume 43 Number 11
                 Produced: Mon Jun 21  6:36:30 US/Eastern 2004

Subjects Discussed In This Issue: 

Better use of sources
         [Matthew Pearlman]
Deliberately invalid marriages
         [Avinoam Bitton]
Duchaning at Ne'ilah
         [Shmuel Himelstein]
Electric Lamps
         [Steven Oppenheimer]
He-avar Ayin
         [Jeffrey Saks]
Hot Water Heater
         [Carl Singer]
How to extend a 24-hour candle's life
The Lack of Symmetry in the Jewish Modesty Laws
         [Russell Hendel]
Mikva Night and Invitations
         [Matthew Pearlman]
Naming Conventions
         [Batya Medad]
New Online: Multilingual Hangman (Hebrew - English)
         [Jacob Richman]
One-handle water faucets on Shabbat
         [David Charlap]
Tzedaka Requirements
         [Rose Landowne]


From: Matthew Pearlman <Matthew.Pearlman@...>
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 12:12:07 +0100
Subject: RE: Better use of sources

Anonymous wrote with a plea for better use of sources.  Can I reiterate
that (I note that in successive issues one person wrote that the laws of
the 3 weeks start from the morning and another that they start from the
evening - both of these were categorical and included no sources!).

I would also add that it would help if people read their submissions
carefully before sending them in.  There have been several recent
postings where a crucial "not" has been missed out.

Thank you
Matthew Pearlman
Email:       mailto:<enquiries@...>


From: Avinoam Bitton <avib@...>
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 01:42:15 -0400
Subject: Re: Deliberately invalid marriages

>>From what I've been told, this was once not uncommon in America.
>Gil Student

I can verify this from personal experience.
I was one of  two observant edim at the wedding of a non-frum friend, some
25 years ago in NY.
My Rav advised that I deliberately avoid viewing the critical moments under
the huppa, which I did.
(I'm quite sure that there were no other frum Jews among the celebrants.)

Avinoam Bitton


From: Shmuel Himelstein <himels@...>
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 15:18:25 +0300
Subject: Duchaning at Ne'ilah

The Tukechinsky Lu'ach (the standard Lu'ach for Chareidi
Mitnagdim in Israel) states that the Shul should specifically schedule
Ne'ilah early enough so that Duchaning  can take place before

As to the extra time this leaves, I've been in Shuls where the Avinu
Malkeinu is then said aloud, line by line, by the Chazan followed by the
congregation. I was once in a Shul that finished so early that they also
said the "Elokeinu Shebashamayim" (to be found in many Machzorim after
Avinu Malkeinu) line by line.

Shmuel Himelstein


From: Steven Oppenheimer <oppy49@...>
Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 22:11:10 -0400
Subject: Electric Lamps

In a previous posting I wrote that Rabbi Bodner quotes HaRav Feinstein,
zt"l as saying electric lamps are Muktzeh and Rabbi Simcha Bunim Cohen
writes that he personally observed Rav Feinstein move a lit lamp on
Shabbat, and so they are not Muktzeh.

There is a Teshuva in Igros Moshe O. Ch. 5:23 in which Rav Feinstein
writes to his grandson, Rabbi Mordechai Tendler, that he would like to
dispel any confusion that may exist regarding this issue since people
may be quoting him incorrectly.  Rav Feinstein maintains that electric
lamps are not Muktzeh (they may be moved LeTzorech Gufo U'Mekomo) and
that may may be moved even if one needs to do so for more light.  He
says that this has been his practice. However, someone may be more
stringent if he so desires.

With the availability of the new "Kosher Lamp" specifically designed to
be used on Shabbat, it becomes more important to clarify this issue.

I hope this explanaion will be of benefit.

Steven Oppenheimer, DDS


From: Jeffrey Saks <atid@...>
Subject: He-avar Ayin

Not sure of the source of the ditty "he-avar ayin", but in the
translation of Halakhic Man (JPS), Kaplan cites it as a "popular
medieval adage". See the Rav's discussion (and rejection) of the ideas
represented by the adage, on and around pp. 110-123, as they relate to
our concept of repentance. (He cites the phrase itself on bottom of
pp. 114 and 121.)


From: Carl Singer <casinger@...>
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 07:57:59 -0400
Subject: Hot Water Heater

    I don't know how hot water is produced in the United States, but here in
    the UK water is stored in a tank (an immersion heater) and remains hot
    (way above 40c) for many hours, possibly into the next day. So turning
    off the heat won't help because new cold water entering the tank will be
    heated up and that is Bishul. The only way around this is to actually
    turn off the tap to prevent cold water entering the tank, but I don't
    know how practical this is.

Turning off the (intake) tap would stop the water flow completely and 
you'd get no water -- most systems (in the U.S. for sure) are "closed" 
systems -- if you turn on a faucet in your home, water must be able to 
enter the system to "replace" the water that is pouring out.  Otherwise 
you'd be creating a (partial) vacuum.  

To demonstrate this note that when you turn off the "master" water 
intake to your home, ALL water flow in your house stops, save for 
"casual" flow from a broken pipe.

Carl Singer


From: c.halevi <c.halevi@...>
Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 22:18:07 -0500
Subject: How to extend a 24-hour candle's life

Shalom, All:

Tonight I lit a yahrtzeit candle for my father (Zalman Fishel ben Hanina
V'Malka), and as always I have no fear the candle won't last 24 hours.

The reason? Every week my Shabbat candles leave a wax residue, and I
save a bit as -- li'havdeel -- "hamburger helper" for the yahrtzeit
candles. One can feed quite a bit as the candle melts down, say, 1/3 or
even 1/4 of the way.

Yeshaya (Charles Chi) Halevi


From: Russell Hendel <rjhendel@...>
Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 16:18:47 GMT
Subject: RE: The Lack of Symmetry in the Jewish Modesty Laws

Bernie and Jay (v43n6) continue this fascinating topic.

Several points may help clarify the issues (One basic point already made
by both of the above postings is that human nature has not changed).

Three other very important points should be made.

First Rabbi Manus Friedman points out in his best-selling book- DOESNT
ANYONE BLUSH ANYMORE-that although society has changed the 'way we do
things', it nevertheless has resulted in more psychological confusion
about sexual identify as well as to more marital problems. (My
explanation of this is given below).

To rephrase this: The issue is not only do women/men act differently
today--the issue is, does this difference lead to better or worse
relationships. Rabbi Friedman seems to ADMIT that changes have been made
but points out that these changes have resulted in more discord.

A second point to make is about the oft-cited idea that women are
passive. No happily married man could think this. Indeed every day in
the daily prayers we read about the Temple basins--these basins were
made with the mirrors of women who seduced their husbands in Egypt
(Several thousand years ago!!!). Rashi makes a point that Moses was
relunctant to use "such mirrors" in the temple--God however strongly

Since some people may be unaware of the full Midrash let me briefly go
over it. Egypt mistreated the Jewish slaves. A typical slave coming home
from work did not feel like having relations. The Song of Songs Midrash
Rabbah describes how women would use their pocket mirrors to seduce
their husbands.

Conceptually I would formulate the idea as follows: BOth men and women
initiate--but men do so more explicitly while women do so more
implicitly. The details of this explicit/implicit distinction can in
fact be inferred from numerous stories in the Bible as well as Jewish
law. To take a small example: The Rambam in the Laws of Forbidden
Intercourse and the Laws of Marriage speaks against women who VERBALLY
REQUEST relations---this of course does not contradict NON-VERBAL
requests for relations (Such as the use of mirrors by the women in Egypt
or even making oneself available as Ruth did with Boaz). Undoubtedly
more analysis is required but I think the basic idea clear (and

Finally I should indicate a reason for this lack of symmetry. Quite
simply the lack of symmetry in the modesty laws reflects a corresponding
lack of symmetry in male-female physiology. Female responses are
basically involuntary--- the healthy women always responds to physical
advances in bed--but a mans responses are not involuntary.

Hence, Biblical law requires the man to be responsible for the womens
sexual happiness but does not require the woman to be responsible for
the mans happiness. Again: The lack of symmetry in physiology gives rise
to a lack of symmetry in the law.

As to modesty: Quite simply: If the mans requirements for relations are
not involuntary then the man is under stress "to perform" (The women has
a stress of "being satisfied" but not the stress "to perform") Hence the
modesty laws prohibit "confrontation" with the male (by explicit verbal

I have only touched on certain issues...but I believe the above approach
gives a simple unbiased way of understanding these laws that both avoids
"politics" and leads to happier marriages.

Russell Jay Hendel; http://www.Rashiyomi.com/


From: Matthew Pearlman <Matthew.Pearlman@...>
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 12:18:07 +0100
Subject: Mikva Night and Invitations

I am also curious as to where this universal aversion to knowing when a
women has gone to the mikveh derives from.

The gemara (Berachot 20a) notes that Rav Gidel and Rabbi Yochanan both
used to sit at the gates of the mikveh. There is another gemara
(Pesachim 111a) which states that seeing a woman coming out of the
mikveh will lead to the wrong sort of behaviour. However Tosefot say
that this is only if the man actually sees her coming out of the water.
There is no suggestion that there is anything wrong with just knowing
that she has been to the mikveh. There may well be other gemarot,
rishonim, poskim that imply otherwise, and I would be interested to see
any sources. Having said that, it certainly doesn't mean that one should
go out of one's way to tell everyone.

Matthew Pearlman
Email:       mailto:<enquiries@...>


From: Batya Medad <ybmedad@...>
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 06:55:58 +0200
Subject: Re: Naming Conventions

At 10:00 16/06/04 +0000, you wrote:
      Another question is, what is the naming minhag for a ger?  The
      usual minhag rule of thumb for gers, so I learned, is that you
      follow the (what the heck is the plural?  minhagim?) minhagim of
      your rabbi:

According to a friend, who's a giyoret, those converted in Jerusalem are
considered Sfaradim.



From: Jacob Richman <jrichman@...>
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 03:34:07 +0200
Subject: New Online: Multilingual Hangman (Hebrew - English)

Hi Everyone!

There is a new, online, educational game called:  
Multilingual Hangman

The new game is located on the J site at:
<a href="http://www.J.co.il"> http://www.J.co.il </a>

It's the classic Hangman game recreated in an online Flash version. With
a database of hundreds of words, I built a game that is fun to play and
educational.  If you expect your simple "hang the man by the rope"
drawing then you are in for a surprise. There are 50 topics ranging from
Jewish holidays and Shabbat to Israeli cities and Israeli foods.  There
are also regular topics like colors, fruit, vegetables, computers,
etc...  The Hebrew part is completely in Hebrew including the main menu,
instructions and messages. The onscreen Hebrew keyboard and fonts are
included inside the Flash game, so you do not need Hebrew support to
play the game. Suitable for all ages, both kids and adults will find
this new game entertaining and educational.

Feedback is welcome!

Please forward this message to relatives and friends so they, and their
children, can benefit from this new educational game.

Enjoy and have a good day,
Jacob Richman


From: David Charlap <shamino@...>
Date: Thu, 17 Jun 2004 08:16:51 -0400
Subject: Re: One-handle water faucets on Shabbat

Stephen Phillips wrote:
> I don't know how hot water is produced in the United States, but here
> in the UK water is stored in a tank (an immersion heater) and remains
> hot (way above 40c) for many hours, possibly into the next day.

This is the case with the heater in my home, and in most homes I know

I don't think the heat will last a full day, but modern hot water
heaters are probably insulated much better than mine (which is not even
close to new.)

> So turning off the heat won't help because new cold water entering
> the tank will be heated up and that is Bishul. The only way around
> this is to actually turn off the tap to prevent cold water entering
> the tank, but I don't know how practical this is.

This may not even work.

In many homes (including mine), the water heater is in the basement,
below the level of all the faucents.  Gravity will not allow water to
flow from the tank to a faucet.  It's the pressure of the incoming water
that pushes the hot water through the rest of the system.  If you turn
off the input tap, you will effectively stop the hot water for the rest
of the house.

Now, if your tank is at a higher elevation (perhaps in an attic or on
the roof) then maybe this would work.  But I've never seen a home built
this way.

-- David


From: <ROSELANDOW@...> (Rose Landowne)
Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 22:19:42 EDT
Subject: Re: Tzedaka Requirements

I remember learning an opinion that any money spent on the support of a
biological child over the age of six can be considered tzedaka.

Rose Landowne


End of Volume 43 Issue 11